The Grand Adventure of Jon Howard

''Hello, Burger here, and I am posting my first ever fan fic here! Now where some would usually just say be nice, I am asking something different: If you feel the need to review my fic, then do not hold back. I THRIVE off of critique, and would greatly appreciate it. P.S. Here is my OC if you would like to take a gander: Jon Howard''

Prologue: Jonathan Howard is a Weird Child
Ah, the rural town of Parkton. The air always had the smell of firewood, the local sweets-shop always had a scent of fresh chocolate, and the armory was always pumping out new weapons for the local militia. All the town's boys would peer into the window of the dear blacksmith's home, and see countless steel weapons. Long-swords, battle-axes, and even steel trimmed cross-bows were made there. Parkton also boasted a sizable school for children of all ages. And there, is where our story shall begin.

* Ring-a-Ding-Ding* The school bell was rung, and children burst from the door.

The very first one out, was Jonathan Howard.

"I am free, free of the old hag Miss Finger!" He said this while his own two middle fingers were raised in the air.

Jonathan was clothed in a brown undershirt, a even darker brown vest over it, brown khakis, and brown sandals. His hair was of the most importance: Long and chestnut colored.

He called out to various townsfolk as he passed them.

"Have a bad day Ms. Smith! Your husband won't be getting better!" The Ms. Smith in question turned away and wept into her hands.

"Your hair will never grow back Sir Gilford, don't get your hopes up!" he called out to a rather fat knight who in turned scowled at Jonathan.

"Hey Queeny!" He called out to a pink-haired harpy perched on a rooftop. "Take a bath, you smell like cow dung!" Queeny in turn looked down somberly, a tear forming in her eye.

At last, Jonathan reached his destination: The Parkton Orphanage.

He took in the scent of it, and then promptly spit in the ground. He had since been accustomed to the horrid smell of rotting wood, Jonathan knew it'd never go away. He then swaggered inside, not bothering to close the door. The front desk of the orphanage was a long, rectangular wooden desk, with a swivel chair set behind it. Various drawers sat scattered around overflowed with paper, most of the ceiling lights were broken, and the ones that weren't flickered on and off in rapid succession. Jonathan scraped his sandals onto the wooden floor, earning it even more filth than usual. He turned to his right and peered down the hallway; dishes were vigorously being washed, and water seeped out of a stark white doorway. Jonathan smiled to himself.

"Oh Miss Mary, always being so busy." He strode with ill intentions towards the white room.

He peered inside, and took a gander. A Kikimora stood over an overflowing dishwasher, and continued to work, not even noticing Jonathan come in. He cleared his throat, which in turn made her jump hard.

"Goodness, Jonathan Howard, you know better than to sneak up on me like that!"

He examined his fingernails, pretending not to hear her.

"Well, what is it? I am busy!" She narrowed her eyes at Jonathan.

"You know what I came for." He trailed off and then thrust his pelvis at her, making her fume.

"For the last time, I am not that kind of monster!" she lost control, and slipped on the soap-covered floor.

Jonathan stepped over her, and tea-bagged Mary several times on the head.

"Honk-Honk-Honk!" His grin grew wider.

Suddenly, Miss Mary began to weep loudly. She covered her eyes, causing Jonathan to back away slowly. He whipped his head side to side, suddenly growing anxious as to the whereabouts of the headmaster.

Who also happened to be the Miss Mary's husband.

"Shhh! Hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he raised his hands up as if to calm her.

Miss Mary glared daggers at Jonathan, and growled.

"NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO GET YOUR ASS BEAT BY MY HUSBAND!" her fangs were visible, and Jonathan knew he had only minutes before the Headmaster came in.

He ran off nimbly up staircases, long corridors, and finally reached his room. He shut the door, and barricaded it with his desk. Jonathan's room consisted of said desk, wormy wooden chair, and sleeping bag. There was also a window, along with a door-less closet, but nothing else. Jonathan took a breather, before jumping in fright when a loud bang occurred in front of his door. A deep, masculine voice rang out.

"Jonathan Howard! Open the door, and I promise I won't hit you more than three times." The Headmaster called out.

"Piss off, Bo. We both know that ain't gonna happen." Jonathan kept his cool, despite the fear growing inside him.

Headmaster Bo paused, and shook his head.

"Have it your way." And the door was blown clean off.

Bo von Horn was a ridiculously well-toned man, he had muscles on his muscles. His tank-top stretched mightily, his wool pants strained to fit him, and his neck muscles tightened with every passing minute. He pointed a meaty finger at Jonathan.

"I don't like spanking kids, but you have to be punished." He slowly strode towards our hero.

"You'll never catch me alive." and without hesitation, Jonathan Howard bolted out the window.

And landed hard in the grass down below.

Chapter One: Jonathan becomes "Jon."
Eighteen years had passed since then, and Jonathan had grown into a well-toned man. He had kept his long, chestnut hair, and he has grown a full beard. His skin now tanned due to labor out in the sun, (Since they punished him quite often), he wore a leather vest over a black T-shirt, and armored leggings. He wore steel boots with various engravings only he understood.

Today, in fact, was Jonathan's birthday. He woke up in the same room he always had, albeit minus the desk and chair, stretching. He looked down at his raggedy sleeping bag, a almost sober look as he knew today he had to leave the orphanage forever. He zipped it back up, and laid it out neatly.

"Goodbye, old friend." And with that, he walked out of the room.

He began walking down a hallway of the third floor of The Orphanage, when he heard a faint voice call out to him.

"J-Jonathan...?" He knew very well who it was.

"Frankie, you don't need to be afraid of me; Come out." He said this without turning around.

Behind him, he heard light footsteps creep from a room a few doors away. He turned around, and saw her in the flesh. "Frankie Hankie" as they called her, walked in tow with a tissue in tow. She wore a light blue dress, along with long, blue hair. Her matching blue eyes seemed like oceans to Jonathan, though he never cared much for them. Frankie looked down, as if she had something to tell him.

"I heard that today...W-Was your last day." she began to fidget with her tissue.

"Well, yeah, why do you care?" He straightened up his posture, eyes narrowing at Frankie.

"I-I just..."

"Just what?"

"Just wanted to say goodbye." she said the last word quietly, and quickly turned to leave.

Jonathan shook his head, and continued onward. He began muttering to himself, when heavy footsteps began to thunder towards him. He was about to turn around when someone wrapped their arms around his back. He deduced that it was Frankie behind him. She started to sob, and said.

"Oh Jonathan, please don't leave me! The others are so mean to me, no one ever talks to me but you!" With surprising strength, she twirls him around.

In this position, Jonathan could truly see deep into Frankie's eyes. He saw love in those eyes of hers, and she then said to him.

"I'm in love with you."

Jonathan had heard enough, he shoved her away, and with complete apathy, said.

"Love. Is. Not. Real." He turned around swiftly, and came to a staircase. With one last look at Frankie, he went down the stairs.

Frankie sank to her knees, all forms of emotion except one left her. Her hands balled up into fists, and she began seething. Her eyes turned into those with rage, face contorted into impeccable anger. Her breathing became heavy, and she looked towards the staircase which Jonathan had already descended.

"''Then I'll make you love me." ''

(CHAPTER NOT FINISHED.)